A hired best man is a professional who stands in your wedding party and does the job a best friend would: keeps the groom calm, holds the rings, runs the groomsmen and gives a toast if you want one. I’m a best man and groomsman for hire in Southern California. I’ve stood in nine grooms’ wedding parties, twice as best man and seven times as a groomsman. It sounds strange until you need one.
Why grooms hire a best man
Grooms hire a best man when the person who should be standing there can’t, won’t or shouldn’t. Friends move across the country. Brothers are twelve. The obvious pick is great company and hopeless with a timeline. Sometimes the wedding party is just uneven and somebody wants the photos to balance.
What a hired best man does
A hired best man handles the groom’s logistics and nerves so the groom can focus on getting married.
- Gets the groom dressed, fed and to the ceremony on time
- Holds the rings and knows which pocket they’re in
- Keeps the groomsmen on the timeline: boutonnieres on, photos on time, phones away for the ceremony
- Stands up front and handles the nerves quietly
- Gives a toast if you want one, built from what you tell me
- Works the crowd at the reception and gets the dance floor going
- Puts out the small fires, like the forgotten tie and the missing cufflinks
Nobody has to know you hired me
Your guests only know I was hired if you tell them. If you’d rather not explain, we agree how I’m introduced, whether that’s a friend from work, college or the gym, and I learn enough about you to hold a conversation with your aunt.
If I give a toast, I build it from what you tell me about your partner and what I see of the two of you. Or tell everyone. A hired best man makes a good story at the reception.
How it works
Hiring me as your best man runs from a free call, through prep where I learn you and your people, to the wedding day.
The consultation
The consultation is a free call about the groom, the wedding party and how you want me introduced.
The prep
Prep is where I learn you. We talk through your history, your partner, your family and the names I need to know. I meet the groomsmen over video or at the rehearsal, learn the timeline, and draft the toast if you want one.
The day
On the wedding day, I’m with the groom from getting ready to the send-off. You show up, say your vows and enjoy the party.
Who it’s for
A hired best man fits any groom whose wedding party has a gap in it, whether that’s a missing best man, a short line of groomsmen or a crew that needs a grown-up.
My record
My record: best man twice, groomsman seven times and flower man twice, which is exactly what it sounds like. I’ve also officiated four ceremonies, so I’ve seen the front of the room from both sides. My background is in event management, the part of the job nobody sees: knowing where the groom has to be in eleven minutes and getting him there. Read more about me, or see how Wedding Wingmen works.
Frequently asked questions
Is it weird to hire a best man?
No, it isn’t weird to hire a best man. It’s a practical fix. Someone has to run the groom’s side of the day, and that person doesn’t have to be an old friend.
Will guests know you were hired?
Guests only know I was hired if you tell them. If you’d rather not explain, we agree how I’m introduced during prep, and I stick to it all day.
Do you give the best man speech?
Yes, I’ll give the best man speech if you want one, written from what you and your partner tell me. If a friend or brother would rather give the toast, I can coach them on it instead.
Can I hire you as a groomsman instead of a best man?
Yes, you can hire me as a groomsman instead of a best man. I’ll fill out the line, keep the other groomsmen on schedule and back up whoever has the rings.
Where are you available as a hired best man?
I’m available as a hired best man or groomsman anywhere in Southern California, from Santa Barbara to San Diego.
Book a free consultation
Tell me about the wedding and the gap in your wedding party. We’ll work out the role and how I’m introduced on the first call.